If the husband begins to reproach his wife "sitting" on maternity leave, then the problem lies more in the field of psychology than finance. But there are several practical recommendations that can improve the situation in the family budget - and in the relationship of the couple at the same time.
Understand the reasons
The woman on maternity leave gives all her strength to the house and the small child. And, if your husband begins to reproach you for "idleness" and consumption of money, it is more than insulting! But try to moderate your anger and think calmly.
Why does the husband do this? The options are:
- It seems to your husband that now he and his personality have become unimportant to you. His role in the family is supposedly reduced to the "supply" of material goods. He is offended and begins to reproach you there, in which he feels strong.
- The husband still does not understand that maternity leave is not a vacation.
- The husband is a greedy person.
- My husband just likes to humiliate you.
Most often it happens in the first two reasons, especially if you are young parents and the first child. A man also needs time to become aware of himself as a breadwinner and start acting more responsibly. Most likely, now he is confused and cannot cope with emotions.
In this case, the advice is banal: find time for yourself and your husband. In the first months after the birth of a child, it seems impossible to carve out an hour or two, but this is not so. Check out the recommendations in the lazy mom communities - they will help you organize your everyday life.
Do not dump information about your hardships on your husband in the form of complaints and reproaches. Try to convey it calmly. So your husband will quickly understand that your vacation is also not easy for you.
If your husband began to reproach you with money because of greed or a desire to humiliate, then the matter is much more serious. Especially in the latter case. Check with psychologists, or at least read articles on related topics.
In any case, try to correct the emotional background in the house for a more positive one. No matter how difficult it is for you, it is within your power.
Take practical action
Now let's talk about having enough money in the family for more. For this, it is not necessary to leave the decree early. To get started, deal with the competent distribution of the family budget:
- Don't make emotional purchases. When buying clothes and shoes for yourself, give preference to comfortable models. Expect that you need to go out with the child in this.
- Sell everything you don't need. For example, children's things that have become small are in good condition. Or gifts that were useless for you.
- Although spending on a child is very high, try to leave money for the needs of your own and your husband. According to the advice of a number of economists, spending on children should be 10% of the family budget. This is not about Russian realities … but it is worth considering.
- Save 10% of your household income monthly. If the money is in the hands of your husband, do not bother saving him. In any family periodically large expenses necessarily happen, so it is better to create a "safety cushion".
- If the family has loans, do not overdue. The consequences will be worse. If you have a mortgage, try refinancing it.
- Find out if you are eligible for any social benefits. If so, check them out. As they say, even a little money is better than nothing.
Find a part-time job
When the baby grows up a little, start earning money yourself. Let it be a little at first. But it will give you money of your own and relieve you of the feeling of helplessness.
How can a young mother work:
- if you have a college degree, try working from home over the Internet. For example, write articles, student papers on your topic. Customers are found on specialized exchanges on the Web, groups in social networks or directly;
- needlewomen have the opportunity to make things to order;
- if you have worked in a service or teaching industry, provide private services in your specialty;
- if there is no education, then try taking courses. For example, learn hairdressing, manicure, or massage. You can make good money on this.
When to work? Here again you need to negotiate with your husband. Seriously offer him to take care of the child in his spare time so you can earn. True, there is a chance that the spouse will rethink the situation and want to leave everything as it is.
In any case, decide the question of your work without unnecessary emotions. Consider what is best for the child and the whole family. And do not allow yourself to reproach yourself for "idleness" any more, because this is the result of your joint decision with your husband.
