Married life is also about joint finances. And usually the wife expects that the husband will bring all his "spoil" to her. But what if control over the family budget and its spending is in the hands of the husband? This is not always a bad thing. In many cases, you can induce your "stingy knight" to fork out. Although, sometimes you have to literally save your property from the claims of your spouse.
Scenario one: the husband is a zealous owner
It is good if your spouse is a host who knows how to competently manage family finances. This is the case if:
- Your husband spends less money than he earns.
- He has savings and investments that generate income. Or he invests in his own business.
- He does not hide from you where the money is invested. Even if he does not devote himself to all the details.
- He does not give money for entertainment and spontaneous purchases, but is ready to fork out for real needs. For example, for shoes instead of a torn pair, for medical treatment and food.
- He does not skimp on the quality of goods and food.
- He acts not only in his own interests. For example, it opens deposits in the name of your children, although it denies them new toys.
If your family has something like this, then try to understand your spouse. Answer yourself honestly: are you better able to manage your family finances? Did you give him reasons to consider himself a "spender"? And maybe the whole family will ultimately benefit from the model he has chosen?
How to convince such a man to give you more money:
- Discuss purchases with him in advance.
- Try to reasonably motivate why you should choose the thing you like, and not something cheaper. Arm yourself with the fact that the niggard pays twice applies equally to everything. Including clothes, shoes and cosmetics.
- Try to convince him that at least sometimes you should allow yourself "too much". After all, going to restaurants, theaters, travel broadens the horizons and improves the relationship of a married couple. And this is also a smart investment.
Scenario two: the husband is a mean
In some families, the husband's desire to save and accumulate goes beyond common sense. For example, the following behaviors may appear:
- The husband seeks to take control not only of the household, but also of your income and assets.
- You spend money rationally, but your husband still demands to report to him "to the last penny." Or he buys everything himself.
- He wants to make money on the assets of your relatives. For example, it requires your parents to give you a share of the inheritance in advance. And he supposedly knows how "best of all" to dispose of it.
If your man behaves like this, then there is only one way out - to set boundaries:
- Do not allow a situation when you spend everything on your family, and he - puts it off. Start saving yourself.
- Do not register an apartment or a car in common ownership if you buy with your own money.
- Do not "let" him to the property and money of his relatives.
The situation is complicated when a woman does not have her own income. For example, when she is on maternity leave. If this is about you, then it is better to start earning yourself, at least a little. For example, taking home work, going out part-time. Keep the earnings for yourself.
If the husband begins to accuse his wife of alleged idleness, do not freak out. Try to reasonably explain where your "free" time goes. Offer him to hire a nanny so you can go to work. Calculate jointly whether it will be beneficial for you.
If the arguments of reason do not help, then the help of a psychologist is needed. Understand the origins of your husband's behavior. Is his greed an acquired trait - for example, from poor childhood or adolescence? Or is the stinginess due to the deepest qualities of his personality? Or does he like the fact that he also controls you? After that, the path of your further actions will become clearer.
Scenario three: the husband is a wasteful
The most deplorable option is when the husband appropriates all the money in the family and spends it on his desires. At the same time, the wife may not give him her earnings directly, but the spouse forces her to spend money on him. For example, he buys an expensive car on credit, and the woman has to buy food and pay bills alone.
What to do here:
- A joint budget is not for you. Demand that everyone invest a certain minimum of funds for general needs. Try not to invest more yourself.
- Do not give in to requests to pay "one-off" his loan payment or sponsor his leisure time.
- Do not take on a guarantee on his loans.
- Don't let it fail.
- Save money in the bank on a term deposit so that you yourself do not have the opportunity to easily give it to your husband. At home, pretend that you have no free money. If you don't want to cheat, then announce your firm plans to save up for a big purchase.
In any of the scenarios, do not tolerate if your husband starts taking money from you. It should not be assumed that everything will be corrected. Don't let both of you lose your dignity. Perhaps divorce will be the only possible civilized solution here.
